I want to warn you: this article can cause some discomfort, indignation and sense of insult in minds of people who are not ready to be successful. If you are not ready to face the truth, please don't read this article, because I don't want to hurt your feelings for nothing.

If you've decided to keep reading answer a couple of questions first.

How old are you? What have you done in all these years that you can be proud of? What have you done to become successful and happy person? And now let me ask you just one last question - WHY aren't you successful and happy yet?

In my long practice with people I've heard so many different answers that if Id decide to write them all down I could publish a 500 page book. I'd call it "The guide for people who want to be miserable and stay that way forever".

Think about it... Who is responsible for you not being happy and successful?

Not your neighbors, not your wife, not the circumstances, not the economy or the weather. YOU ARE.

It is YOUR life, YOUR choices and YOUR responsibility. I know it is very hard to accept, because we are so used to blame everyone and everything for our unhappiness and our failures. We don't want to take responsibility for our actions. Furthermore, were afraid of the responsibility because if something goes wrong we will have no one to blame for it, but ourselves. This includes the level of your achievements, the quality of your relationships with other people, the state of your physical health, your debts or your lack of self discipline.

When you refuse to accept responsibility for the situation, you lose control over it. You will feel depressed and frustrated because you can't change the circumstances, you can't change the economy and you can't change other people, you can only change yourself.

That change will give you great benefits. Instead of a life victim, you will become a successful, self-confident person. You will make life what you want it to be. Responsibility for the actions and self-esteem is the only small but crucial difference between a dismal failure and an impressive success. It doesn't take long to go from failure to success. All it takes is an attitude adjustment.

You can start making small changes in your life right this moment. Don't wait any longer, because until you dont do something about your life, nothing is ever going to change.

For example, if you had a fight with someone, say "I'm sorry I overreacted. I shouldn't have yelled at you". Don't say "You said this or did that. You made me lose my temper!" If you are late for work, say "I'm sorry, I overslept. I'll make sure it won't happen again". Don't say "My alarm clock didn't ring" or "Traffic was really bad".

If you screw up, admit it. Take the responsibility for your actions instead of saying "Mistakes were made".

Learn from your mistakes. Analyze what kind of changes you can make right now to achieve your goals in future. Important thing is to constantly move forward. Don't wait for the opportunity to appear at your door step or the planets align the right way. Create your own opportunities.

Copyright 2005 Arina Nikitina