You know that your feelings (the way you feel about things) determine your behaviour, and your behaviour determines how well you do in life. Or not.

But what determines your feelings? Are you at the mercy of your emotions? Is there a way for you to actually change, control or otherwise affect the way you feel at any given time?

Yes there is, and you're about to find out how.

Your feelings are determined by your attitudes. What is an 'attitude'? Your attitude is the way you see things, your perspective, your take on things. It's the way you think about things. And it determines the way you feel about those things.

The good news is that you have the power to CHOOSE your attitude at any given time. When some trivial occurence happens that threatens to annoy you, you could either have the attitude of 'this makes me really mad' and feel and act accordingly, OR you could CHOOSE to have the attitude of 'this isn't worth my getting worked up over', and leave it at that.

Which attitude is healthier?

In medical practice, we come across many illnesses that are said to be induced by 'stress'. But what really is 'stress'? Here's a fact: nothing is stressful in itself; it's the way you interprete things that determines whether you suffer from 'stress' or not.

That is why two people can experience the same event in different ways. One person is not bothered by the event, the other person is worried sick by the same event. Each response is a personal choice, a personal interpretation of events.

The scary thing is that when you (choose to) perceive an event as 'stressful', you send messages to your brain which releases chemicals that cause your immunity to get depressed. In addition, perceived 'stress' causes your body to release harmful by-products of metabolism called 'free radicals' which destroy your body tissues. That's one reason that 'stress' causes actual serious physical disease.

And yet it's all down to your chosen attitude.

You have enormous power within you, since you have the ability to choose your attitude and consequent feelings.

When working with clients, I focus on attitudes, thoughts, beliefs and such things because they the *root* causes of every conceivable outwardly visible outcome. If I can get you thinking right about every area of your life, you can rest assured that the results you desire will follow just as surely as night follows day.

What's your attitude towards your job? Do you feel insignificant and undervalued? How does that make you behave at work? Is that behaviour serving or sabotabing you?

What's your attitude towards your marriage or other relationship(s)? What are your thoughts towards the other party? How do these thoughts lead you to behave? If you wish to improve things in your relationships, start by improving your attitude towards the people you relate to.

What's your attitude towards yourself? Do you feel inferior or superior to others? Do you think you're worthy of the finer things in life? The way you 'see' yourself determines the way you feel about yourself - so called self-esteem or self concept. Do you let others dictate how you see yourself? Realize now that the way you see yourself comes across in the way you behave, and people see you and treat you the way you see yourself.

Ask yourself similar questions about every aspect of your life, and come up with honest answers. Write these down. Then go through your answers, pick out the attitudes that sabotage your efforts and desires in every area. When you've done that, write down the exact opposite of those thoughts and CHOOSE to adopt the new statements as your new attitudes to life.

Practise your new attitudes consistently (remember your new year resolution - to do what you say you'll do, when you say you'll do it) and you will be amazed at the results. Do it and see for yourself.

Here's a neat quote from Hugh Downs for you to think about:

"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes."