Picture this, all your buddies and you are ready for a night on the town. Y'all jump in a couple Yukon Denali's (ok dreaming here, but I'm allowed to, this is my post) and head down to the spot. Everyone in the car has some expectations of possibly meeting a girl and hitting it off with someone, but alas they should realize that some nights you must perform wingman duties. In this post we will discuss how to be a good wingman, and more specifically the different type of wingman your crew needs to succeed. So when you are composing your band of brothers remember to fill accordingly. To best explain the wingman concept I will describe a football game, the Playmakers vs. the Cockblockers!
The Playmakers - this is your team.
You are always on offense as you are always trying to "score". So now let's see who's on your team.
The Quarterback - the Orchestrator
Ok, in your group YOU absolutely must have a quarterback but remember now no two quarterbacks on any one given night. The QB is the orchestrator of the entire night, his job and his entire job that night is to put people in positions to score. He knows the spot to go to that night, may know the bouncer to get you in for cheap and cut in line, guy is the leader and people can tell. But where you're QB is invaluable is when other teams are in the field as well, because the success of your team is all dependent on how good your QB is compared to the other QBs. So he is the one that is intentionally going to draw attention from girls, whether it is going up to a group of girls cold turkey so that everyone else can join, or who will jumpstart everyone into getting on the dance floor. This is your main man, and you must protect him, because if he gets sacked a few times, and his confidence level drops you and your team are in for a tough time. You must get him in rhythm so don't let him down if he offers short passes (not so attractive girls) at first, he's just trying to get in rhythm.
The Offensive Line - the Invaluable but never get any credit
You may ask why do you need an offensive line, well of course you need an offensive line to buy time for the QB, to protect him. These men/friends are your foundation and without them your whole night will fall apart. So, who are the offensive lineman and what do they do. These are your friends that don't dance have a hard time talking to girls and overall go to the club but sit on the side chilling and maybe making fun of other people. The reason you need these fellas is because there are going to be times when you are not talking to a girl, not dancing, and overall could be feeling very not studly. These men are never dancing and are readily available on the side of the wall, typically offensive lineman can be seen drinking a beer on the side. You can always go to talk to the OL, he will boost your confidence telling you how studly you are and if need be he can take your mind of the last incomplete pass or dropped ball off your mind. Invaluable but they do get very few chances to score. It usually takes a freak accident or a fumble they happen to pick up and run in for them to score. The Wide Receiver Prima Donnas with Big Play capability
You gotta have wide receivers, and the reason you have to have these prima donnas because you are going to need big plays and as Terrell Owens once said Who can make a play, I CAN! . And he was right. Wide Receivers are the good looking dudes in your group. They often arent really even paying attention to anyone when they enter the club but for some reason girls come up to them. They can be at the bar totally ignoring everyone and bao out of nowhere a girl comes up to them. These guys have big play capability and depending on how good your QB is, he will utilize this big play ability and put these WRs in positions to score. The reason you need WRs, eventhough they can be a pain in the ass because they almost never buy drinks, is because with them your team always has a chance to talk to that amazingly pretty girl and her friends. Without him, youre just a bunch of offensive lineman, a QB, and a Ron Dayne like tailback. However remember that the WR is somewhat aloof and alone, not really part of the team, as he will drift off into the crowd to do his own thing thinking perhaps that he will do better solo. And unless you get a Hines Ward receiver that is physical and willing to block for you, the WR will leave you to your own devices if thats what it takes. Also remember the WR will take the spot light so be prepared to play second fiddle when the WR is in working his magic.
The Tailback For those Tough Yards and Keeping the chains moving
Old faithful. You absolutely need a tailback, this is your best friend and often times the best friend of the QB. This man will be with you through thick and thin and will always come up HUGE. This is the friend that when the QB goes into the crowd and talks with 5 girls, the tailback will pick up the tab for the other 4 girls drinks. Thats those tough yards Im talking about, keeping those chains moving and the drive going. He may never bust one loose for a TD on a 60 yard scamper but when you need to punch it in, somehow someway at the end of the night your tailback has 1 or 2 TDs and 100 yards. Hes the guy that at first girls are like whatevers about, but by the end they think he is a really cool guy and end up giving them their phone number. The tailback, when all else fails and your conversation is going down the drain in a hurry he will enter in with a self-depracating story or start asking questions. Often times, the tailback is the most trustworthy of your friends.
To be continued.
So which Wingman are you'? |
