The mangy dog in Pirates of The Caribbean 2 got the biggest laugh today, during the movies opening afternoon, and deservedly so.

I tried to stay awake, and believe me, I dont sleep at the movies.

People next to me, obviously Johnny Depp fans, laughed at the scenery, providing he was in the frame. Nothing in the dialogue helped him a bit.

His mugging, and bizarre sideways strutting were still fun, but he, and Keira Knightely were on camera far too little, and Orlando Bloom, or should I say, Or-Blando Bloom, that improbable love interest, was homely and un-swashbuckling beyond belief.

This is the middle part of a trilogy, apparently, and according to a New York Times reviewer, the movie doesnt really have a beginning or end: its all middle.

I have to agree.

My advice is to take your $11 or $12 and purchase the first installment of Pirates on video.

Youll find it fresher, more fun, and by far less tedious seeing it for the fortieth time than you will fighting off yawns during your maiden viewing of the second venture.

If youve read my articles before, you might have detected Im a Johnny Depp fan, but hes wasted in this episode.

Watch him in Dead Man or Edward Scissorhands or even Ed Wood, and you wont be disappointed.

I suppose they offered him so many Disney dollars that he couldnt refuse being in this stinker.

I forgive him, but I dont forgive myself for wasting my $12 and the better part of an afternoon trying to stay conscious.