I love going to the movies. I always have. I can remember the highlight of every Saturday while growing up was when my Dad would give us all 25 cents and off we would go to some movie that was playing at the Dickenson.

I still love movie going. I love the whole experience even if the movie isn't good. I love the getting there, the buying of the gut-rotting crap from the concession stand, finding seats, waiting for the lights to go out. Well, you get the idea.

Movie going in Mexico isn't much different from going in the United States. We try to hit as many movies as we can.

When we first moved to Mexico, a lawyer friend asked me if I would miss going to the movies. Can you believe that he thought we would not have movies here? (Don't get me started on educated Americans' misconceptions about Mexico!) We, in fact, get major releases here just as you do in America. They are in English, usually, and with Spanish subtitles.

I have this "thing" about going to the movies that you might find a little strange. Then again, you might not. I believe that when someone takes the time and money to go to a movie that this implies a certain set of presuppositions:

1) Get there and get seated BEFORE the movie starts.

2) Stop talking once the previews are over and watch the movie.

3) Do not have family discussions or picnics during the movie.

4) Don't do anything that would distract someone else from watching the movie.

5) If you cannot keep your hands off each other, please don't spend your money on the movie but on a hotel room.

6) Unless you are a doctor, lawyer, or judge, turn off the damn cell phones BEFORE the movie starts.

Now you might regard these six items as a little over-the-top. However, I feel that "going to the movies" means you are taking the time and spending the money to watch something that someone, somewhere, decided would be good entertainment.

Nevertheless, just how can you take advantage of this marvel if you decide right in the middle of the film to whip out the cell phone and cause an eerie blue glow to light up the entire darkened movie theater? If you aren't a doctor, is your life that important that you just have to take a call in the middle of a movie? Moreover, if it is, why can't you leave the theater to do so?

I don't get this at all!

And I suppose that some people think when the lights go out, no matter where you may be, that this is a trigger to start engaging in foreplay right in front of others! This always happens. My God, give it a rest people!

Back to the cell phone crap: Once we were in this movie when I noticed an eerie blue glow coming from across the aisle and to the right of where my wife and I were seated. I thought, "Oh my God what is there that is about to devour us all?" (We were watching some horror film and I tend to get caught up in these, don't you know.)

So, I looked over to see what was happening. The glow was caused by an entire row of college-age students, all with cell phones in hand, playing games and sending instant messages.

This is an evil plot by cell phone companies. They weren't content to rule the minds of American youth but they had to come to Mexico, of all places, and convince the Mexican youth that their lives have been incomplete and without meaning because they didn't have cell phones.

Besides, they ruined my movie going!